I always had an interest in traveling but had yet to discover my passion for it. As time went by, I did take a few trips abroad such as after graduating college, roamed around Europe for a while, which interesting lacked anything serious for cultural interaction. I also did a six month stint in Alaska in Denali National Park, which was great as it fueled my love for the outdoors and a place that I had always wanted to see. My parents throughout this time were surprisingly supportive despite the fact that I didn’t take my studies seriously. I much more enjoyed mountain biking and camping but there was definitely a pain and desperation in their voices for me to obtain a college degree and find work that would be respectful of becoming an adult. My older brother during this time had joined the Navy after high school and they felt they were losing another son to the American culture of having fun and doing what you please. They longed to see me become educated, which I couldn’t understand. In America, I could do whatever I wanted and finding a job wasn’t difficult.
Growing up as an immigrant, I came to the US at the age of 10 from Pakistan and grew up easily in my new environment, I made new friends, learned the language, and being a somewhat awkward shy but funny kid spent a lot of time not thinking of girls but playing outside with friends just like I did back home in Pakistan. This developed into a love for the outdoors and I discovered camping, running, and mountain biking. My East Coast living allowed me to visit many places to hike and to enjoy the silence of the woods and the joys of a campfire. I did eventually return to my studies and without a surprise ended up majoring in Geography.
My travel interests slowly began to grow outside the confines of my familiar surroundings as I started to have some money since I was now out of college after years of false starts and working. I used the money to fund a trip to Costa Rica followed by another one to Egypt, then came Panama, Mexico, and before I knew it I was starting to keep score of countries that I wanted to go to and began a count of the ones I had knocked off my list. The downside of a full time job is that it gives you the money to travel but saps away the time to explore and limits it down to perhaps visiting one or two countries a year if you save all of your vacation time. I knew I wanted to travel more so began dreaming of a long trip that would encompass spending more time in several countries.
Fast forward a few years to about June of 2009, a year that I was to meet my future wife Sabeen and a realization of our shared interests.
Modern man has traded in his nomadic past to a life of ease but along with that convenience comes a life of monotony, living a rat race, vicarious living from TV, and fear of outsiders. Comforts have taken away the urge to explore and instead have made us physically and mentally lazy to accept our fate as it is and not look over the horizon to realize what lies beyond.
I was starting to have serious conversations with myself and friends about taking off for a year long trip but like any newcomer wasn’t sure how to pull it off and gave up on this thought a few times as echoes of a wanderlust mind and talked myself back into sense of working and not quitting a good job and an income. I knew myself to be responsible and good with money and so during my working years had always put aside money for savings to serve not for travels but as a rainy day emergency fund for the house that I didn’t own. As thoughts of travel kept bubbling themselves to the surface of my mind, I started having a shift and realized that the emergency I was awaiting was self-defeating and that I better do some research and find ways to fund my travels.
The year I met Sabeen and the first time we met, I somehow knew that I would end up with her as my wife. We both had similar backgrounds and upbringing and wanted to break from our normal lives. Before the evening was finished, I had made up my mind and so August of that year we become engaged to each other. All the events and the wedding were a fun and raucous affair and it was amazing to know that it had all been pulled off in half a year with a few hundred guests some coming from overseas and many from out of town. With our lives in tow, started making a plan of our mutual exit from the US to a long enough trip that would afford us the ability to travel at a slow pace, make changes as necessary, and check off a few highlights that we mutually wanted to see.
Financially, we were fine but I still had doubts about quitting my job and worrying about what I would come back to? Also, what would happen if the money dried up, since we’d have nothing to go back to or move forward? We put aside these fears, kept reading some inspirational blogs of people who were doing exactly what we yearned to do and started with the purchase of a few tickets to book in advance for our initial destinations. Now the deed was done, we had taken the giant first step, had informed our sets of parents who were supportive but still reserved their enthusiasm as they worried about the same fears that I had.
Looking back, traveling was easy, it was the process of leaving home and the many steps involved which was taxing, frustrating, and self-doubting.
We gave ourselves about ten months to make our exit, which seemed reasonable as we needed to pack our belongings, get movers, and rent out our house. In addition, we also needed a few visas for some of the arrivals and inoculations against tropical diseases. The first few months after our honeymoon in Ecuador were spent like most days with me going off to work and coming home in the evenings to spend time with Sabeen and perhaps head over to my parents house for dinner. We also took a few trips to New York to see Sabeen’s parents. During this time, we had one of the snowiest winters on record, which while beautiful after a few dozen shoveling of the driveway became old. On top of it, our house started to leak from every corner due the freeze thaw on the roof and pretty soon Sabeen had buckets lined up to catch the many drips. It turned out we needed a new roof as the leaks got worst and eventually resulted in flooding of a room. What a great way to welcome in a new marriage? I thought so, nothing brings out the best in people then stressful conditions out of your control. We both did fine despite our leaky home, we rented movies, made hot chocolate, played in the snow, and went out for hikes. Perhaps it was nature’s way of forcing us to acquaint ourselves with each other through trial by fire or ice in our situation.
They say if you set your mind on something, whether negative or positive, the universe conspires to make it a reality and so we felt in good company as lady luck kept offering us chances to fulfill our desires. Being of an itinerant mind, we took a few short get aways to Las Vegas and Jamaica; the trip to Jamaica was free as a courtesy for a delayed flight and in Las Vegas we had free hotel stays. In Sin City, we saw the strip but also camped out in the desert and in Jamaica, we avoided the resorts and instead stayed in a neighborhood and met many locals, many of which warned us of dangers from the people but all we ever saw were smiling Jamaicans ready to help out and interested in striking up conversations. These sorts of warnings would be offered later during other trips but the fears never materialized and after a while the shock and awe of popular news media and advice of experts were just mere distractions to limit movement and keep from seeing the truth for oneself.
With our to do list ready for the trip preparation, we began first by researching countries for which we would need to obtain visas in advance. It turned out, we only needed ones for China and Vietnam. Sabeen made a few appointments and after paying the hefty fees had our first few new stamps in the somewhat virgin passport. We knew that India would be a highlight of our trip, so figured it was better to buy a ticket now, which we did only to have it result in major regret later. Reading other bloggers, I thought it would be good for us to have a second passport since we could mail one to an embassy and still continue to travel, which could then be mailed back to us at our next destination with the new visas. Surprisingly, this wasn’t hard to achieve, we sent a letter to the State Department citing our reason and after paying a fee and a few short weeks later, we each had another passport. Check few more items off the list.
Both of us were starting to get excited about the trip and during our free time, would read about our intended destinations and during walks in the evening would discuss our wild and crazy idea and how we were the first ones in the family to do such a thing. I was concerned about telling my employer about quitting and thought about instead asking for a sabbatical, since I had been employed there for some time and had good relationships with my peers. The other thought we had was of finding suitable tenants and how we would go about collecting the rent and deal with repairs or any other house issue that would require our presence. I also thought about paying our bills, which was easily fixed as I transferred all of our accounts so that they could be paid on-line. Good thing, since I was using the snail mail method and this way would save time and money on purchasing stamps. With more items checked off the list, we still hadn’t told anyone of our plans except our parents as didn’t want a lot of questions asked of our motives and more importantly didn’t want to be criticized from well-intentioned family and friends. Also, we didn’t want to portray an image of wealth by giving the impression that we could leave our jobs and go on a permanent vacation. We knew we would be traveling on a budget and did not want to discuss our finances with others besides ourselves. The date was set for our departure of September 15, 2010 with the first stop being Indonesia. Our plan was to head to the furthest point east and then work our way back west with as many stops in between possible with the aim to do it going overland. This would both be cheaper as we would limit flying and would also give us the opportunity to see the land through the eyes of the locals traveling on buses and any other means of transportation. I needed to explain my motives to my employer and still hadn’t done so. I was a little nervous about explaining to them as I knew they probably wouldn’t understand my rationale. I had been with the company for five years and did good work so playing that card was easy. I also figured I’d take the safe route and ask for a sabbatical and not quit. So with that in mind, I called my colleagues and explained it to them. One of them to my surprise wished he could do the same and the other showed more concerns and talked about the dreaded gap in a resume. Inside, I was laughing and thought this is the worst that can happen? A gap in my resume? Fine. If they don’t want to bring me back after a year, then I’ll just go somewhere else. I was told to come in, sign a few papers, turn in my badge and computer and say goodbye for the time being. I set an appointment to do so.
The next item to be checked off for renting of our house but before this could begin, Sabeen had already begun the process of packing up the house. I had placed ads on Craiglist and was able to successfully sell off my mountain bike and kayak, for which I felt a slight loss as many happy hours were spent using my bike to get lost in the woods and the kayak to explore the backwaters of many lakes and rivers. I was never one to collect a lot of things, so the packing seemed it wouldn’t be that hard but looking back, ask Sabeen and she’ll tell you the boxes upon boxes she had to pack, some from newly acquired items as gifts from the wedding and others that were in the house. Sometimes, I would lose my cool and wonder out loud what we were doing at the efforts of boxing up an entire house, moving all the items to my mom’s house, who had happily agreed to store for us for what? A long vacation, was it worth it? Deep in my mind, a voice would come back and say yes, be stubborn and do it. After the wedding, we had bought some new bedroom furniture, so now we would need movers to delicately take our new/former belongings and move them to my parents’ house. The mover I hired wasn’t a professional, he installed carpets. I figured we only had to go a mile or so down the road as my parents lived across the street and how hard could it be to move a king size bed, a solid oak or something equally as weighty chest drawer, several night stands, and a dresser? Really hard, first the guy’s van was stuffed with carpets and padding, old pipes, and tools. We both had concerns but crossed our fingers. He came alone but realizing the effort called his son, which even with the both of them took almost the entire day to move all the items to my parent’s basement.
Ok, check another item off the list. With the house packed and all the items moved out. It was starting to feel real and hit home that yes buying a ticket was easy but now we had reached the point of no return, we were doing it and it felt good.
Craigslist to the rescue again, I needed to place an ad for the house. With about two months to go, it was time to get proactive and start finding suitable tenants. We set a fair price for the rent based on looking at the market in the area and hoped for a quick response. None came; I had a few emails, which after the initial contact would drop off never to be heard from again. We adjusted the rent, made it lower, still a lukewarm response. Couple of folks came to look at the house, showed interest but again the interest would taper off. We were wondering that it may come down to us doing all the work only to find in the end that we wouldn’t be able to rent the house. There is no way, we would be able to leave and pay for our trip and the full mortgage with no incoming income. Ok, I needed to market the house better, so I re-wrote the ad, highlighted it best as I could with all the nice features that a family or a few singles could make use of and prayed. We finally got a hit, a twenty something group of friends who liked the house. They wanted to have their parents look at the house as some of the rent would be picked up by them. The parents came liked the house and were all set to sign the lease. We breathed a sigh of relief. Few days later, received a phone call and one of the girls was having a disagreement with the other at the fact that she was getting the master bedroom when she in fact deserved it. Her parents were paying the bigger half of the rent so it made sense. The girl threatened to pull out of the lease as the other one was being labeled as a rich girl. I thought they were friends? With the rent agreement in jeopardy, I made some calls to the ones still interested in the house and while they still wanted it weren’t sure if they could pay the rent with “the rich girl” leaving. We agreed to meet their parents again to discuss the money and after some deliberation decided to lower the rent once again to make it suitable for a party of three. They in turn promised to respect the premises, pay their dues on time, and in general keep the police from coming to the house. With no more drama hopefully to worry about, we gave the house one last look and went off to my parents’ house to spend a few days with them before leaving for New York to spend time with Sabeen’s parents and catch our flight from JFK to Jakarta.
I wasn’t really expecting a teary goodbye but at Sabeen’s aunt’s house, where we spent a night and in the morning as were getting ready to head out for New York, she hugged Sabeen and started crying. Naturally her twenty something year old son found the emotional outpouring funny and overly sentimental and started laughing, which lightened up the scene and so we all had a good laugh before parting. It was next off to New York to spend a few days with the parents before catching a long flight to our first destination. It was great to be done with everything and having nothing to concentrate on except updating our blog, writing to friends on Facebook, and amazing our parents with our minimalist packing, which consisted of one large backpack and a small day pack. Our only electronics were a camera and an Ipod. The neighbors were equally shocked but really excited to hear of our plans and all wished us well and wanted to do the same. After a few days, we left for the airport and due to Sabeen’s quick thinking got access to a lounge while we awaited our flight’s departure.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Making Change Happen
We all have goals and desires, things that we want to do or accomplish but getting from point A to point B requires moving in the right direction, which comes from taking initiative and a belief in your yourself. My goal is to make money by traveling and see at least 100 countries in the next 12 years. For some, this may not sound ambitious and for some others unrealistic. So, how did I come to setting this goal for myself? Well, I have also had an interest in traveling that really peaked after our year long backpacking trip, one could say the trip wouldn't have happened had we not had such wanderlust to begin with. Kind of like chicken or egg syndrome.
So, what am I doing to get myself closer to realizing my goal? I have taken a few steps in the right direction, such as doing work that will allow me to move around the world and get paid. I started by looking to see what was out there and there is a lot, so that was good, gave me some confidence. I then took the initiative and started doing some research on what would work for us. We have a working plan in place with the hope of executing it soon next year. Yes we are a little nervous but also more excited.
So, the hard part is giving yourself permission to go after your dreams and having imagination guided by creativity and not fear to propel you forward. Most people gave up dreaming and have traded a life of routine and a rat race, which they think is normal.
We are humans, we need change, we need to grow, we need to evolve, we need people. Trade the life that you've been taught is normal to living one for yourself.
So, what am I doing to get myself closer to realizing my goal? I have taken a few steps in the right direction, such as doing work that will allow me to move around the world and get paid. I started by looking to see what was out there and there is a lot, so that was good, gave me some confidence. I then took the initiative and started doing some research on what would work for us. We have a working plan in place with the hope of executing it soon next year. Yes we are a little nervous but also more excited.
So, the hard part is giving yourself permission to go after your dreams and having imagination guided by creativity and not fear to propel you forward. Most people gave up dreaming and have traded a life of routine and a rat race, which they think is normal.
We are humans, we need change, we need to grow, we need to evolve, we need people. Trade the life that you've been taught is normal to living one for yourself.
Preparation is Everything
I really believe being prepared is everything but what are you preparing for? The answer can be different for each one of us. For me, it is about being healthy and giving my body exercise, proper nutrition for both mind and body. I run about three times a week and on off days go for moderate walks to keep my muscles loose and prevent aches and pains. I never eat fast food and instead cook my meals at home where I can control the ingredients and the portion sizes. When I do eat out, I stick with wholesome meals and never processed anything, such as white bread, preservatives, etc. I also don't drink sodas and instead drink water or green tea. I always try and eat a salad for dinner and top it off with olive oil, lemon juice, and black pepper. I don't drink juices and instead cut fruits and make a salad.
I pray as much as I can to calm my mind to give me focus and courage to go after my dreams.
This preparation gives me clarity of mind and allows me to lead a healthy life in pursuit of my goals.
I pray as much as I can to calm my mind to give me focus and courage to go after my dreams.
This preparation gives me clarity of mind and allows me to lead a healthy life in pursuit of my goals.
Declutter Your Life
Excessive clutter is often a symptom and a cause of stress and can affect every facet of life, from the time it takes to do things to finances and overall enjoyment of life. Clutter can distract us, weigh us down, and in general invites chaos into our lives. Often times, however, tackling the clutter can seem an impossible task if you don’t know where or how to start. By devoting time to getting rid of the clutter in life and maintaining things relatively clutter-free, you’ll reap the rewards of pleasing living areas, reduced stress, and a more organized and productive existence.
At the house, simplify your rooms, clean out closets, and clean out the drawers. Drawers are a good place for things to get shoved into. Empty them out and sort them by whether you’re keeping, tossing, or donating.
I always try to separate a want from a need when I feel the need to purchase. Even when the calling to buy is strong such as a need, I still debate and after a day or so if I still need it, then I'll go ahead and buy it. Outside of food, there are a very few things that I would categorize as a need. When I go to the grocery store, I never load up on items and instead will buy only the supplies needed for a meal or two and maybe stock up on a few long lasting items. This way, I don't pile stuff into my house and neither I am then forced to eat all the food for regret at having thrown it away. I don't own fancy gadgets, still have an old cell phone, no TV, I read more, and not because I am poor or can't afford these things, I choose not to because for me, life is still being defined and I want to keep myself ready and free for my next decision, which will be a lot easier if I am not tied down with junk and debt. Once you’ve successfully decluttered, whether it be one area or all the areas mentioned above, clutter will inevitably begin to creep back into your life. You must be vigilant in weeding it out on a regular basis, or it will just take over your life again. I have automated this process, for example, if someone gives me a gift, I prefer cash but if I do get a gift like a shirt or something, I take another shirt or two and donate them, this way I still have the same amount of stuff in the house. I also take detailed inventory of the items in the house and if something hasn't been used in a long time, then it's a good candidate for being donated.
Forming these habits takes time and the most important thing is having discipline and imagining something better for yourself. In my neighborhood, people love decorating their homes for Halloween and Christmas, some go overboard and there is nothing wrong with it, except when you look at the waste and the junk we end up storing from year to year in our homes that ultimately ties up our lives. Getting rid of clutter is about freeing up your lives so that you have the freedom to be more mobile and agile. If you don't like where you are or what you are doing, cleaning up your life is a good start to move you forward.
At the house, simplify your rooms, clean out closets, and clean out the drawers. Drawers are a good place for things to get shoved into. Empty them out and sort them by whether you’re keeping, tossing, or donating.
I always try to separate a want from a need when I feel the need to purchase. Even when the calling to buy is strong such as a need, I still debate and after a day or so if I still need it, then I'll go ahead and buy it. Outside of food, there are a very few things that I would categorize as a need. When I go to the grocery store, I never load up on items and instead will buy only the supplies needed for a meal or two and maybe stock up on a few long lasting items. This way, I don't pile stuff into my house and neither I am then forced to eat all the food for regret at having thrown it away. I don't own fancy gadgets, still have an old cell phone, no TV, I read more, and not because I am poor or can't afford these things, I choose not to because for me, life is still being defined and I want to keep myself ready and free for my next decision, which will be a lot easier if I am not tied down with junk and debt. Once you’ve successfully decluttered, whether it be one area or all the areas mentioned above, clutter will inevitably begin to creep back into your life. You must be vigilant in weeding it out on a regular basis, or it will just take over your life again. I have automated this process, for example, if someone gives me a gift, I prefer cash but if I do get a gift like a shirt or something, I take another shirt or two and donate them, this way I still have the same amount of stuff in the house. I also take detailed inventory of the items in the house and if something hasn't been used in a long time, then it's a good candidate for being donated.
Forming these habits takes time and the most important thing is having discipline and imagining something better for yourself. In my neighborhood, people love decorating their homes for Halloween and Christmas, some go overboard and there is nothing wrong with it, except when you look at the waste and the junk we end up storing from year to year in our homes that ultimately ties up our lives. Getting rid of clutter is about freeing up your lives so that you have the freedom to be more mobile and agile. If you don't like where you are or what you are doing, cleaning up your life is a good start to move you forward.
Why Travel?
Why do we travel? Spend enough time on the road and your fellow travelers start to look alike. Most are Caucasian, either from North America, Europe, or Australia. We are also from North America and our up bringing in the US gave us the ability to make choices for ourselves and to take chances. So, while in thinking, we're Americans our looks are Pakistani.
We found ourselves part of the tourist mix a few times as well but did stand out due to our brown color from being born and spending some time in Asia. The notion of minorities traveling is new, granted Chinese and other Asian nationalities are starting to get out but the numbers are still relatively small and we therefore raised eyebrows in several towns where the locals couldn't really place us; most thought we were Indian.
Everyone's travel experinces are unique, so for us, since we don't drink, we saw a lot of towns with bars and the usual travelers enjoying themselves, we would often opt for something like meditating at a mosque or spending time with the locals at a market or cooking a meal at our hotel. We never shut ourselves out from experiencing or being with people but wanted to break away from the tried and true of the tourist hordes and have a chance to engage and experience as much of the local life as possible. Did that mean, declining requests to spend time with fellow travelers and instead enjoy each other's company or explore the beauty of a small town, probably yes.
We found ourselves part of the tourist mix a few times as well but did stand out due to our brown color from being born and spending some time in Asia. The notion of minorities traveling is new, granted Chinese and other Asian nationalities are starting to get out but the numbers are still relatively small and we therefore raised eyebrows in several towns where the locals couldn't really place us; most thought we were Indian.
Everyone's travel experinces are unique, so for us, since we don't drink, we saw a lot of towns with bars and the usual travelers enjoying themselves, we would often opt for something like meditating at a mosque or spending time with the locals at a market or cooking a meal at our hotel. We never shut ourselves out from experiencing or being with people but wanted to break away from the tried and true of the tourist hordes and have a chance to engage and experience as much of the local life as possible. Did that mean, declining requests to spend time with fellow travelers and instead enjoy each other's company or explore the beauty of a small town, probably yes.
How to Create Passion
Like all things in life, having passion makes achieving your goals possible along with identifying those goals. Lots of people are talking about passion these days, could it be that despite our comfortable living, we're just not satisfied with life and are seeking something else....As a child you are passionate about what you are interested in, it’s fun to go out and explore and learn and engage yourself fully in whatever it is you are excited about.
And the key point is this, when you do something passionately, with enthusiasm, you’ll achieve what you want. For us it has always been a pretty singular desire to see the world, explore other cultures, and see ourselves as part of a bigger pie, all I believe in line with our desire to travel. When we set out to travel, we had a few naysayers, more disbelievers basically telling us that it wasn't a good idea, one even went as far to tell me that I might "die". Geez, take it easy, we're going traveling for god's sake, not war.
So, how did we develop the urge and the desire to travel. For me, it was easy, I blame it on my parents, not because they traveled much but as a little kid instilled in me to be curious about the world. Growing up, I would read National Geographic's every article and would run my fingers across the maps to imagine distant places. I think also growing up in a foreign country also shaped my desire to see more of the world and to find my own identity among the masses. I have always kept my passion at the top of my priority list, the first conversation I had with my fiance, now my wife of two years was if she wanted to travel. We had a house, all the things that go with it but cut everything down to a basic, so we could free ourselves and go and we did. It also helps that neither one of us is a hoarder and so keeping junk out of our lives is made relatively easier.
To get enthusiastic, learn more about the thing you are not sure about, for instance, when we started traveling, I had never kept a blog or had much interest in them but now, I find them really interesting because I can share my thoughts, develop my writing skills, and through it have found another thing to get excited about. Passion is like a muscle, it grows and develops when it is used and pushed just that little bit outside of its comfort zone. If a muscle is not used it wastes away. Passion is no different, if you don’t experience it for a while then it will be harder and harder to access it in the future. Many people are not passionate because they don’t even know their purpose in life. How can you have passion for something if you don’t even know what it is? Making a list of things that you love and that get you excited is a good start. According to Alexandra Levit, author of "Blind Spots", goal setting has to do with our biological and psychological makeup and it seems to be hardwired in our brains. The brain can't distinguish between the things we want and things we have. The brain treats the failure to achieve a goal the same way that it treats the loss of a valued possession, and up until the moment the goal is achieved, it is looked upon as a failure. This sets up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve by driving us towards accomplishment. Good advice from an expert........so challenge yourself and don't be afraid to shake things up.
And the key point is this, when you do something passionately, with enthusiasm, you’ll achieve what you want. For us it has always been a pretty singular desire to see the world, explore other cultures, and see ourselves as part of a bigger pie, all I believe in line with our desire to travel. When we set out to travel, we had a few naysayers, more disbelievers basically telling us that it wasn't a good idea, one even went as far to tell me that I might "die". Geez, take it easy, we're going traveling for god's sake, not war.
So, how did we develop the urge and the desire to travel. For me, it was easy, I blame it on my parents, not because they traveled much but as a little kid instilled in me to be curious about the world. Growing up, I would read National Geographic's every article and would run my fingers across the maps to imagine distant places. I think also growing up in a foreign country also shaped my desire to see more of the world and to find my own identity among the masses. I have always kept my passion at the top of my priority list, the first conversation I had with my fiance, now my wife of two years was if she wanted to travel. We had a house, all the things that go with it but cut everything down to a basic, so we could free ourselves and go and we did. It also helps that neither one of us is a hoarder and so keeping junk out of our lives is made relatively easier.
To get enthusiastic, learn more about the thing you are not sure about, for instance, when we started traveling, I had never kept a blog or had much interest in them but now, I find them really interesting because I can share my thoughts, develop my writing skills, and through it have found another thing to get excited about. Passion is like a muscle, it grows and develops when it is used and pushed just that little bit outside of its comfort zone. If a muscle is not used it wastes away. Passion is no different, if you don’t experience it for a while then it will be harder and harder to access it in the future. Many people are not passionate because they don’t even know their purpose in life. How can you have passion for something if you don’t even know what it is? Making a list of things that you love and that get you excited is a good start. According to Alexandra Levit, author of "Blind Spots", goal setting has to do with our biological and psychological makeup and it seems to be hardwired in our brains. The brain can't distinguish between the things we want and things we have. The brain treats the failure to achieve a goal the same way that it treats the loss of a valued possession, and up until the moment the goal is achieved, it is looked upon as a failure. This sets up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve by driving us towards accomplishment. Good advice from an expert........so challenge yourself and don't be afraid to shake things up.
Off the Beaten Path
There is something, call it romantic, definitely a sense of adventure about taking your travels to off the beaten paths. I have to admit, sticking to a travel guide every now and then is nice, it lays out your plans for you and sometimes you need the decision making done for you. But more often than not, the tried and true doesn't make for good stories and you start feeling like a part of a big herd.
Living in the 21st century, it seems like all the things that were supposed to have been done....have been done. I am pointing to the romance of travel from the yesteryear's, the kind you see glorified in old black/white photos with burly men in round spectacles riding elephants with a native tribesmen leading them through thick bushes to a hunt. Or, the Lawrence of Arabia's riding through the desert on a horse or a camel at night on a secret mission and camping underneath the stars. I also imagine the Silk Road caravans on their months long journey traversing mountain passes, being chased by hungry wolves, thugs, crossing deserts, and skirting death on the Pamir Mountains or making secret deals with the spice dealers in towns such as Marrakesh, Kashgar, Siwa, Kabul, or Tunis.
For us, some of the best moments were off the beaten path, where we probably were the only foreigners in town, the locals appreciated our presence and thus were warm and hospitable, and we could wander in awe at having arrived at such a place after enduring some hard rides. Central Asia is a good contender for off the beaten travels as it is isolated, difficult to get to and around, and mired in mystery and romance from its association with the Silk Road, former relationship with the Soviet Union, and its years of turmoil due both to its geographic proximity and political landscape.
We were able to make it out to a few off the beaten paths such as pretty much all of Central Asia, parts of Nepal, Egypt, Laos, Indonesia, and a few others. The memories that these places such are so much more vivid because they weren't diluted by tourist traps or the latest place to be according to a travel magazine or a brochure. The fact that we came out to these places without following any set path or having in mind any special place to see, is what really stood out. I remember getting a handful of mulberries from a guard posted in Tajikistan near the border with Afghanistan and thought what a delight, as originally we were thinking passport and visa hassles from the authorities; Instead our exchange was one of friendliness and mutual curiosity.
Also, in SW Turkey near the border with Iraq and Syria in the town of Mardin, we couldn't find cheap accommodations, so after hours of searching, just decided to go it alone and ask a local family if they could host us, which incredibly they did. These and other encounters are hard to come by when everyone is vying for tourist dollars and towns are propped up on tourist money, so it was welcoming to be in such towns where you could be appreciated for your uniqueness and sometimes your bravado for having come to such a place. We had a few encounters where people were surprised that we were Americans, since we're brown, most automatically think we're Indians but once they learned of our backgrounds, that just made us even more special and I think for some a sense of pride to host "important" people. It's humbling to know there are parts of the world where people care who you are based on your background and traits.
Best to sum it up as that when we weren't looking, that's when we found what we were looking for.......
Living in the 21st century, it seems like all the things that were supposed to have been done....have been done. I am pointing to the romance of travel from the yesteryear's, the kind you see glorified in old black/white photos with burly men in round spectacles riding elephants with a native tribesmen leading them through thick bushes to a hunt. Or, the Lawrence of Arabia's riding through the desert on a horse or a camel at night on a secret mission and camping underneath the stars. I also imagine the Silk Road caravans on their months long journey traversing mountain passes, being chased by hungry wolves, thugs, crossing deserts, and skirting death on the Pamir Mountains or making secret deals with the spice dealers in towns such as Marrakesh, Kashgar, Siwa, Kabul, or Tunis.
For us, some of the best moments were off the beaten path, where we probably were the only foreigners in town, the locals appreciated our presence and thus were warm and hospitable, and we could wander in awe at having arrived at such a place after enduring some hard rides. Central Asia is a good contender for off the beaten travels as it is isolated, difficult to get to and around, and mired in mystery and romance from its association with the Silk Road, former relationship with the Soviet Union, and its years of turmoil due both to its geographic proximity and political landscape.
We were able to make it out to a few off the beaten paths such as pretty much all of Central Asia, parts of Nepal, Egypt, Laos, Indonesia, and a few others. The memories that these places such are so much more vivid because they weren't diluted by tourist traps or the latest place to be according to a travel magazine or a brochure. The fact that we came out to these places without following any set path or having in mind any special place to see, is what really stood out. I remember getting a handful of mulberries from a guard posted in Tajikistan near the border with Afghanistan and thought what a delight, as originally we were thinking passport and visa hassles from the authorities; Instead our exchange was one of friendliness and mutual curiosity.
Also, in SW Turkey near the border with Iraq and Syria in the town of Mardin, we couldn't find cheap accommodations, so after hours of searching, just decided to go it alone and ask a local family if they could host us, which incredibly they did. These and other encounters are hard to come by when everyone is vying for tourist dollars and towns are propped up on tourist money, so it was welcoming to be in such towns where you could be appreciated for your uniqueness and sometimes your bravado for having come to such a place. We had a few encounters where people were surprised that we were Americans, since we're brown, most automatically think we're Indians but once they learned of our backgrounds, that just made us even more special and I think for some a sense of pride to host "important" people. It's humbling to know there are parts of the world where people care who you are based on your background and traits.
Best to sum it up as that when we weren't looking, that's when we found what we were looking for.......
Different Kinds of High
I've always enjoyed challenges from when I used to mountain bike hard every day at the state parks around my area to running upwards of 20 miles per week. I joined a gym a few years back and started going daily and working out with weights and then spinning (stationary cycling in a darkened room with music and an instructor).
The workouts were always hard and I determined to push and punish myself to really feel and earn my workouts. I used to work out so much, I thought why not become a personal trainer and motivate others but didn't do anything about it. I then thought, why not become a spinning instructor and motivate others but didn't do anything about it. I've been thinking a long time now about running my first marathon but haven't taken the steps to keep training myself.
I guess the point is it doesn't matter too much if you don't accomplish the things you had hoped for as long as you continue down a path that makes you happy and healthy.
The workouts were always hard and I determined to push and punish myself to really feel and earn my workouts. I used to work out so much, I thought why not become a personal trainer and motivate others but didn't do anything about it. I then thought, why not become a spinning instructor and motivate others but didn't do anything about it. I've been thinking a long time now about running my first marathon but haven't taken the steps to keep training myself.
I guess the point is it doesn't matter too much if you don't accomplish the things you had hoped for as long as you continue down a path that makes you happy and healthy.
Solo or Companion Travel
I have had the good fortune to have traveled alone when I was single to now with my wife. Looking back now, I don't think I would enjoy long term travel as a solo person. OK, with that established, I wanted to delve into what it was like to have done both of these experiences with the hope that others will provide feedback on their travel outlook.
When I was traveling and for a while lived in Alaska to being in Central America and Europe by myself, one inevitably is responsible for their day to day decisions and has the freedom to decide on how they choose their day. This is a great thing because you have no one to answer to but yourself and at the same time allowing for flexibility to change your mind as you go along. Hey if you decide to hang out with another traveler or go hiking instead of touring the city, we'll you can. This is both great and sometimes bad, for example, I can be somewhat indecisive at time, so having too many options means I revert to doing what I enjoy the most, which is usually the outdoors and miss out on cultural aspects of my travels. Another thing I notice is that I have a tendency to get lazy, especially after long bus rides and having to deal with the constant decision making of finding food, lodging, planning for the trip, money issues, etc so will often times either sleep in or cancel my plans made the previous day. Again, I would finish up my trip not having been to places that I wanted to go.
Now, I am all for flexibility and know how important this is, especially traveling in foreign lands where the things you expect, don't usually materialize. I am OK accepting things outside my control but felt I wasn't pushing myself hard enough or giving into doing things for others, so while no regrets, felt I needed to better manage myself.
If you've guessed it you're right, this section is about traveling as couple and how different it was. Let me start by saying that while I enjoyed my solo travels, traveling with my wife opened a whole new set of experiences, one of the major ones being that we had only been married barely a year and so the chance to spend almost every moment together was the best way to establish a relationship. The great thing about having a companion was that I never needed to rely on anyone else to share or do anything, I know this is obvious but having constant company was energizing for an extrovert like me. I can also be a bit shy sometimes when it comes to communicating in foreign languages, so again having my wife laughing or smiling as I attempted to utter a few broken phrases was also a great ice breaker and acceptance that I wasn't alone in looking like a fool. As I alluded to earlier, I can be lazy, but Sabeen had a drive to keep us to our commitments, such as after hellish bus, ferry, trains, and car rides. When I would complain and later realize, I was glad for having done the things we wanted to do and had a chance to encounter something else. It was also good to divide up the tasks. We agreed on the countries that we wanted to visit but once we arrived, Sabeen had far superior skills at reading maps, so she took the lead in planning once we arrived. I would do the research on places to stay and she would figure out how to get us there.
I also think having another person balances your outlook on things, for example its easy to become desensitized and lose the excitement of traveling, especially when you have been doing it long term and it starts to look like work. You need the other person to tell you to slow down or enjoy the moment, without constantly feeling like you need to be someplace. It was great to meet other travelers and have a chance to express yourself to someone else because having constant companionship, you get to know each other sometimes too well and end up doing non-verbal communication or you end up talking about a lot of the same topics.
Despite this, we met more solo travelers, especially females, so it doesn't really matter. What's important is that if you have an interest than you do it.
When I was traveling and for a while lived in Alaska to being in Central America and Europe by myself, one inevitably is responsible for their day to day decisions and has the freedom to decide on how they choose their day. This is a great thing because you have no one to answer to but yourself and at the same time allowing for flexibility to change your mind as you go along. Hey if you decide to hang out with another traveler or go hiking instead of touring the city, we'll you can. This is both great and sometimes bad, for example, I can be somewhat indecisive at time, so having too many options means I revert to doing what I enjoy the most, which is usually the outdoors and miss out on cultural aspects of my travels. Another thing I notice is that I have a tendency to get lazy, especially after long bus rides and having to deal with the constant decision making of finding food, lodging, planning for the trip, money issues, etc so will often times either sleep in or cancel my plans made the previous day. Again, I would finish up my trip not having been to places that I wanted to go.
Now, I am all for flexibility and know how important this is, especially traveling in foreign lands where the things you expect, don't usually materialize. I am OK accepting things outside my control but felt I wasn't pushing myself hard enough or giving into doing things for others, so while no regrets, felt I needed to better manage myself.
If you've guessed it you're right, this section is about traveling as couple and how different it was. Let me start by saying that while I enjoyed my solo travels, traveling with my wife opened a whole new set of experiences, one of the major ones being that we had only been married barely a year and so the chance to spend almost every moment together was the best way to establish a relationship. The great thing about having a companion was that I never needed to rely on anyone else to share or do anything, I know this is obvious but having constant company was energizing for an extrovert like me. I can also be a bit shy sometimes when it comes to communicating in foreign languages, so again having my wife laughing or smiling as I attempted to utter a few broken phrases was also a great ice breaker and acceptance that I wasn't alone in looking like a fool. As I alluded to earlier, I can be lazy, but Sabeen had a drive to keep us to our commitments, such as after hellish bus, ferry, trains, and car rides. When I would complain and later realize, I was glad for having done the things we wanted to do and had a chance to encounter something else. It was also good to divide up the tasks. We agreed on the countries that we wanted to visit but once we arrived, Sabeen had far superior skills at reading maps, so she took the lead in planning once we arrived. I would do the research on places to stay and she would figure out how to get us there.
I also think having another person balances your outlook on things, for example its easy to become desensitized and lose the excitement of traveling, especially when you have been doing it long term and it starts to look like work. You need the other person to tell you to slow down or enjoy the moment, without constantly feeling like you need to be someplace. It was great to meet other travelers and have a chance to express yourself to someone else because having constant companionship, you get to know each other sometimes too well and end up doing non-verbal communication or you end up talking about a lot of the same topics.
Despite this, we met more solo travelers, especially females, so it doesn't really matter. What's important is that if you have an interest than you do it.
Money to Travel
Sabeen and I both wanted to follow our passion for long term traveling and knew that we needed to have enough money to be comfortable to do the things we wanted to do. We also knew that managing our budget was important to keep track as we continued through the months.
I'd like to share the thought process we went through in executing our plan and talk about the myths and fears that are common in this and following posts. Talk to anyone about traveling and images of laid back days spent on the beach come to mind, now we definitely had a few of these experiences but the message that I want to convey is that our plan was to travel and not be on a vacation. There definitely is a difference between the two, while vacation is usually a short stint at a fixed location, where no real effort is needed planning for food, lodging, sightseeing, and logistic; long term traveling however, is the opposite. When Sabeen and I left, we were in the category of the latter, a conscious decision because we wanted to experience life as much as the locals do and try and see the world through their eyes.
Mentally, we knew we were bound to have difficult days and we did, which I will follow-up with separate entries but also what is difficulty, in our case a voluntary decision to push one's limits with the hope of learning something about ourselves while still cherishing the moments.
OK, if you've read so far, you probably have realized that we had a pretty tight budget and glad for it but its not for everyone, so here is some advice for doing it for yourself regardless of how lavish or shoestring your inclinations may be.
I'd like to share the thought process we went through in executing our plan and talk about the myths and fears that are common in this and following posts. Talk to anyone about traveling and images of laid back days spent on the beach come to mind, now we definitely had a few of these experiences but the message that I want to convey is that our plan was to travel and not be on a vacation. There definitely is a difference between the two, while vacation is usually a short stint at a fixed location, where no real effort is needed planning for food, lodging, sightseeing, and logistic; long term traveling however, is the opposite. When Sabeen and I left, we were in the category of the latter, a conscious decision because we wanted to experience life as much as the locals do and try and see the world through their eyes.
Mentally, we knew we were bound to have difficult days and we did, which I will follow-up with separate entries but also what is difficulty, in our case a voluntary decision to push one's limits with the hope of learning something about ourselves while still cherishing the moments.
OK, if you've read so far, you probably have realized that we had a pretty tight budget and glad for it but its not for everyone, so here is some advice for doing it for yourself regardless of how lavish or shoestring your inclinations may be.
- First of all, clean up your life, I mean get rid of clutter and things you don't need because not only will you feel free but you'll realize you don't need much to enjoy life. We both had one backpack between us and that was plenty. Again, not for everyone.
- Second, get a hold of your spending, we both hate credit cards and only use debit since that way, we can only spend the money we have and if we do go over, the bank will promptly hit us with hefty service charges.
- Third, make savings a priority, I have always kept this as a habit and will pay myself first from my paycheck before I write bills. This way, I know I am focusing on my long term goals and will only spend on other things after I have put money in my savings account.
- Fourth, delay instant gratification, this is hard in a culture such as ours, where the latest fashion, gadgets, etc are always at hand. I don't frequent Starbucks but do once in a while like their coffee but even then, most times I'll deny myself a $3.00 cup of coffee and instead wait to come home, where I can have one for almost free. This also goes for dining out, which is fine every now and then but don't make it a habit.
- Buy stuff that you only really need. This goes in line with lack of clutter but also with grocery shopping. It's an easy habit to buy things for the moment or at the checkout aisle but its amazing all those little items add up.
- Perhaps the most important, having the courage, desire, and motivation to do it. We had many doubts ourselves and will be sharing these in later posts.....
Traveling as Muslims
I wanted to write about our faith and reflect on our experience traveling as Muslims, especially in a time where religious tolerance seems non-existent and xenophobia running high.
It was amazing for us both to realize just how many Muslims dominate the world from South East Asia to Central Asia to Africa. When we had initially began our trip in Indonesia, we knew we would encounter Muslims but in the town of Cianjur, we had some very warm hospitality. The town of Cianjur is small, kind of place where everyone knows everyone, just a few tourist attraction, so when you show up you draw attention. We were staying with a local family, who lived close to a mosque, so Sabeen and I decided to start praying there while in town. I immediately drew attention when I walked in the mosque with looks and a few whispers. As the prayers ended, few elderly men came over, first hesitatingly then outright questions of where I was from. When they learned that I was from the US and a Muslim on top, they were shocked, had no idea that first Muslims in great numbers existed in America and that second having grown up in the US, I still continued to practice my faith.
Well, lucky for me because from them on, every time I would go to this mosque, some gentlemen or other, would invite me to their home for coffee and sweets. Sabeen would often wonder where I had disappeared only to hear laughter or talk from a neighbors house and see me walking down the street with a huge grin on my face.
These sorts of interactions pretty much continued through out our year long journey, where we would end up in a new town, have some curious bystanders come around inquire about us and as soon as they would learn of our faith we were friends. The best part was seeing mosques and hearing the call of the Azan and listening to the Friday sermon in different languages such as Khmer, Mandarin, Vietnamese, Bahasa, Arabic, and Turkish.
In Central Asia, we had great interactions with locals to dine and to sleep in their homes despite the language difficulties. In Turkey, we again stayed with a few families in Mardin and at other times had a few people befriend us to drive us around and take us to really cheesy tourist sites. I think we also drew attention due to our brown skin and many just hadn't seen people of our background traveling, which again made our travels that much more unique.
We both miss the hospitality of strangers and long to get back on the road.
It was amazing for us both to realize just how many Muslims dominate the world from South East Asia to Central Asia to Africa. When we had initially began our trip in Indonesia, we knew we would encounter Muslims but in the town of Cianjur, we had some very warm hospitality. The town of Cianjur is small, kind of place where everyone knows everyone, just a few tourist attraction, so when you show up you draw attention. We were staying with a local family, who lived close to a mosque, so Sabeen and I decided to start praying there while in town. I immediately drew attention when I walked in the mosque with looks and a few whispers. As the prayers ended, few elderly men came over, first hesitatingly then outright questions of where I was from. When they learned that I was from the US and a Muslim on top, they were shocked, had no idea that first Muslims in great numbers existed in America and that second having grown up in the US, I still continued to practice my faith.
Well, lucky for me because from them on, every time I would go to this mosque, some gentlemen or other, would invite me to their home for coffee and sweets. Sabeen would often wonder where I had disappeared only to hear laughter or talk from a neighbors house and see me walking down the street with a huge grin on my face.
These sorts of interactions pretty much continued through out our year long journey, where we would end up in a new town, have some curious bystanders come around inquire about us and as soon as they would learn of our faith we were friends. The best part was seeing mosques and hearing the call of the Azan and listening to the Friday sermon in different languages such as Khmer, Mandarin, Vietnamese, Bahasa, Arabic, and Turkish.
In Central Asia, we had great interactions with locals to dine and to sleep in their homes despite the language difficulties. In Turkey, we again stayed with a few families in Mardin and at other times had a few people befriend us to drive us around and take us to really cheesy tourist sites. I think we also drew attention due to our brown skin and many just hadn't seen people of our background traveling, which again made our travels that much more unique.
We both miss the hospitality of strangers and long to get back on the road.
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